The Story
In the heart of London's city center, an inexperienced, wet behind the ears, hotel manager almost drowned in corporate realities of the Happyvale Hotel, a property and business bequeathed to him from his Irish mother. Problems, chaos, mayhem and corrupt realities all play a hilarious but troublesome part in this recount of the human traffic that graced the steps of the Happyvale Hotel and the corporate obstacles that swamped a naive hotel manager that was way out of his depth and unable to tread water in a hospitality dream that was never his own that became a financial nightmare.
When a wave of financial destitution had threatened to roll up and crash straight through the hotel's door, there was no dam wall of recovery to protect either the building or the naive hotel manager and owner as he had waded through the trouble that had landed on his doorstep. A beloved building that had once been decorated with a family’s love, hard work, countless memories and efforts, sadly became a disorganized mess and a rope of responsibility that had hung around the hotel owner's neck that held no possible signs or chances of actual redemption. Saturated in mishaps, steeped in chaos and drenched in dramatic shenanigans, this is one hotel manager's tale of the obstacles he faced and the hurdles that he had to overcome, some of which he failed to leap over and crashed straight into whilst he walked a corporate tightrope between bureaucratic responsibilities and difficult legal strangleholds as a hotel manager and owner.
Unfortunately, when the high tide of financial failings, the jagged rocks of bureaucracy and a series of disastrous events, finally shipwrecked the hotel's financial boat and sabotaged the hotel owner's sincerest wishes, hopeful intentions and often misguided attempts to honor his mother's legacy and her last wishes, there had been no chance of recovery. Sadly, nothing could be salvaged from the wreckage of heartbreak that he eventually, had to bid a final farewell to and leave totally behind as his beloved mother's legacy became a shipwreck of failure immersed in nothing but total heartbreak. Written by Jill Thrussell
This book is loosely based on a true story and the real experiences of a hotel manager and has been written on their behalf by Jill Thrussell
Quotes:
Despite the lack of financial rewards however, my mother had somehow kept her spirits high, her hotel full and she had even managed to avoid the jagged rocks of financial destitution, although the tide of poverty had threatened to rise up against the hotel's door many times and to sink our family's boat. ~ Jill Thrussell
Since Camden had been so close to the financial pulse of the capital, it had always been one of the main boroughs in London that most people had flocked to and their first port of call as soon as they had arrived in the big city, usually penniless and often in desperate need of accommodation and so the Happyvale Hotel had in some ways, plugged that low means accommodation gap, though admittedly, not always in the most elegant manner. ~ Jill Thrussell
Sometimes even now, I still wonder what became of some of the guests that had left a memorable footprint inside my memories and a distinct impression imprinted upon my mind during my mother's reign over Happyvale Hotel, once they had left my mother's walls permanently behind because they had truly been such an integral part of my youth. ~ Jill Thrussell
Apparently, in every city and port that Ralphie the Rogue had visited on the crest of his roguish wave, from what he had often related to those around him and I had managed to overhear, there had been a lady in waiting and usually more than one because they had rarely waited around long enough for his usually quite brief returns to solid land. ~ Jill Thrussell
In fact, by the time Ralphie had usually, finally returned to the city in question for a second round of skinny dips in each ladies sea of passion, the women had usually moved on to far greener love pastures and much brighter, more solid romantic prospects and they had even entered into committed relationships with other men that had been far more accessible to them and men that would have given Ralphie a skinful, if he'd even tried to have another roll in the hay with them. ~ Jill Thrussell
Much like a trophy of bravery that had been earned at sea, Ralphie the Rogue had orally displayed his sexual conquests to any adult male that would listen but in this instance, his display case had been his mouth and his trophies had been the women that he had managed to convince to hop into bed with him and since I had lacked such highly desirable interactions with the female species at the time, I'd been extremely impressed by his masculine prowess and seemingly, plentiful sexual achievements. ~ Jill Thrussell
Sometimes on Saturday afternoons, when I had taken a wander out into the garden at the rear of the hotel, I'd often found Mavis seated upon a wooden tree stump that had barely stood taller than the weeds that had surrounded it and she had related some of her memories to me about the life that she had once lived and shared by her late husband's side. ~ Jill Thrussell
After that day, very sadly, Mavis had simply never ever actually returned and deep down inside, I still feel that some part of me had left with her that day because no other guest during the time of my mother's ownership or even my own had ever touched my heart in quite the way that Mavis had. ~ Jill Thrussell
Although patience hadn't been a quality that my mother had adorned her interior with in abundance that lack had actually suited the Happyvale Hotel quite well because it had been situated in the heart of Camden which had been the jungle of rough edges around the fringes of the more refined city centre. ~ Jill Thrussell
Fortunately for our family however, my mother had been a tough cookie made from the dough of sternness and her tough makeup had definitely been required to keep both the hotel and us financially afloat. ~ Jill Thrussell
Quite often clashes had occurred between some of the more permanent guests and the short term guests since the latter had been far less bothered about the maintenance of any pleasant long term relationships with other occupants which had meant, they had willingly littered the hotel's hallways with drama, shenanigans and with far less restraint. ~ Jill Thrussell
In some ways, the chaotic antics, verbal blows and various challenges that the tourists had dealt and presented to my enemies had almost felt like a form of compensation to me, for the many evenings of bread and butter that I'd had to endure as a form of punishment because of guests like Fishy Frank and Snide Stuart, both of whom I had absolutely loathed. ~ Jill Thrussell
Just to see some of those obnoxious bullies be nailed down to the ground with trouble as they had faced and come up against troublemakers that had been far better equipped to handle them than myself had given me some small grains of comfort at times and those joy filled moments had managed to slightly appease me, even though I had not been personally involved in any of tourist's triumphant victories. ~ Jill Thrussell
Due to Fishy Frank's anger at that point, I had wisely decided to retreat to the safety of my own room as quickly as possible because I had absolutely no desire whatsoever to cross Fishy Frank's path when his temper had recently been ignited, shaken and had even erupted, due to any fiery hot sparks and overspills of angry lava that might possibly fly or flow in my direction. ~ Jill Thrussell
Since I hadn't been physically equipped to assist Ralphie in any capacity, I'd quickly turned around and then rushed towards my mother's room door in order to seek her assistance because I had generally only regarded bravery to be a useful quality when victory looked remotely possible and in that instance, defeat looked like the only, highly probable outcome when it came to the issue of my potential physical interference and so, I'd very wisely, hastily retreated. ~ Jill Thrussell
However, that night had taught me a hugely valuable lesson when it came to the issue of men and the women that they loved and that had simply been that some men would fight to the death for the women that they loved and no matter how much Ralphie had charmed people, charm hadn't been enough or able to save him from a tidal wave of anger, regardless of whether his boat had already sailed or had remained moored to that particular dock of passion. ~ Jill Thrussell
Sadly and unfortunately however, as I had rapidly discovered within just the first few weeks of hotel ownership, noble intentions hadn't been able to provide a lifeline to absolute ignorance and that had been the first lesson that I'd learnt very quickly indeed because I had truly been way out of my depth and quite unable to reach any shores of meaningful recovery, or any banks of acceptable redemption. ~ Jill Thrussell
New guests had flowed through the hotel's doors and hallways as often as the wine had flowed down the back of my throat in those early days and some of them had literally shocked the hell out of me as I had struggled to step up to not only my mother's wishes but also to my new life as a hotel owner. ~ Jill Thrussell
Very sadly however, I had quickly learnt that my saunter down the lane of supposed grandeur into what had initially seemed like a potential oasis of prosperity had been nothing more than a wade into a very murky, deep swamp of heavy, stressful responsibilities and as I'd stumbled deeper and deeper into that swamp, it had almost seemed as if it had wanted to drag me down into its stressful depths and then consume me. ~ Jill Thrussell
No one however, had seen Vince for the past week and as I had begun to process each guest's last account and their most recent memories of Vince, I'd started to feel the anxiety build up silently inside of me like a wall of tense worry but this wall had been absolutely impenetrable and it had not allowed my mind to climb or jump over it in order to find a place of rest, or any peace. ~ Jill Thrussell
Some dark thoughts had begun to occupy the forefront of my mind and it had almost felt as if each one had built a campsite in amongst my thoughts as I had continued the search along with Ursula and we had stepped out of the back door into the back garden as the evening had stepped into the heart of the city. ~ Jill Thrussell
Nothing but nervous drops of sweat had dripped from my forehead like drops of anxiety as I had prepared myself for the worst and hoped for the best as a multitude of horrified questions had run silently through my mind like a torrential flood of shocked dismay because the smell certainly hadn't been pleasant and it had almost knocked me totally off balance. ~ Jill Thrussell
The couple it had transpired had been married for at least a decade before they had even stepped foot inside the hotel's walls and despite their individual faults and human imperfections, their marriage had it seemed been built upon a firm bedrock of love from the bricks of mutual appreciation which had then been cemented together with tons of tolerant adoration and so their devotion had accumulated into a very solid, united, romantic partnership over the many years that they had walked through life side by side. ~ Jill Thrussell
Some stormy days and rocky years definitely lay ahead of me and that reality I had truly known as I'd finally begun to understand that what I had seen my mother do for so many years and had always taken for granted had been a very hard crawl along the bottom of a deep chasm of stress in life that had been filled with problematic worries, dramatic headaches and stressful dilemmas. ~ Jill Thrussell
Unlike Pervy Pete who had utterly repulsed me, Mario had just rubbed me up the wrong way and although I hadn't initially been able to quite put my finger upon the reason why I had disliked him so much, his character had quickly unpacked itself and his vices had then been fully revealed to me via his actions which had rapidly caused a ripple of upset within the local community. ~ Jill Thrussell
For the entire first year of my hotel ownership, every single day at the hotel had been filled with drama whilst I had tried to manage the establishment because without my mother's firm, experienced hand at the helm, absolute chaos had absolutely prevailed and the problematic vices that guests like Mario had brought along with them and then unpacked had just been the tip of that very jagged iceberg. ~ Jill Thrussell
Each guest had it seemed, brought along their own bag of troubles with them when they had initially arrived at the hotel's front door which they had then quickly unpacked and as they had offloaded those problems straight onto my shoulders, every problematic issue had landed upon my doorstep with a hard, rocky bump and I had been expected to cope with and resolve every single one. ~ Jill Thrussell
Every day at the hotel had been filled with drama whilst I had managed the establishment because without my mother's firm, experienced hand at the helm, absolute chaos had absolutely prevailed, due to my lack of skills, total ignorance, absence of experience and very limited knowledge. ~ Jill Thrussell
Although we had both remained by the front door, it had almost been as if we'd been frozen to the spot by total shock and as if our tongues had been tied up in awkward, uncomfortable knots of discomfort because our lips had remained tightly shut and and for once, even I had been absolutely speechless as my mind had remained lost for words for at least another minute. ~ Jill Thrussell
"An outcast, I would call him more a dreg of society and he really is right at the very bottom of humanity's deep barrel of human decency." Cherie had replied. ~ Jill Thrussell
A huge worry had definitely lingered inside my mind at the time as I had visually searched Noel's face for any answers but all that had greeted me had been total silence and so that worry had silently somersaulted around inside the passageways of my mind without the provision of any kind of comfort to buffer its chaotic turbulence because as I'd already known, Cherie's claims had massive financial implications. ~ Jill Thrussell
The sheer cheek and audacity of the strange man's actions had instantly made my blood boil and as I had stood and watched him, every part of me had silently seethed inside as I'd felt a current of intense anger surge chaotically through my veins which had threatened to spill out of my mouth and explode from my human frame because his brazen, foul nature had completely horrified me and absolutely disgusted me. ~ Jill Thrussell
Luckily, Cherie had managed to capture my attention and distract me from the anger that had surged through my veins like a current of total hatred as much like a cool bucket of water, her presence had extinguished some of the fiery, angry flames inside of me, due to her cheerful disposition which had immediately put me slightly at ease and so a tense, strained smile had somehow, managed to surface and then take a stroll across the lower part of my face as I had faced her. ~ Jill Thrussell
Somehow, it had transpired, Cherie had been totally immune to this filthy man's outrageous behavior and she had not only challenged him but also grabbed him verbally by the rump and then fully delivered some shots of direct embarrassment to his absolutely foul tail and her tactful response to his foulness had definitely amused and pacified me to some extent. ~ Jill Thrussell
"I can take care of this sewage bag in a jiffy." He had reassured everyone as he'd taken a step forward and then had begun to enthusiastically roll up his sleeves. ~ Jill Thrussell
"If he can do anything worse but I think he's already hit rock bottom on the scale of filthy behavior." I had concluded.
Just a few seconds later I had begun to watch in total silence as Tom had embarked upon his mission which had been to chase the dirty man away from the entrance of the premises with verbal threats and as a scowl had crossed Tom's face and his fists had flown up into the air, some very loud, angry words had darted from his mouth like verbal arrows of anger. ~ Jill Thrussell
Quite obviously, I had rapidly realized, the sheepish looking couple had been in the midst of a shared moment of passion and they had perhaps become carried away by the passion of the moment and by their own love making which on that particular occasion had not been a gentle saunter down a quiet lane of desire. ~ Jill Thrussell
Unlike the ground floor of the building which had been formed from an extremely solid, very thick block of cement, some of the other floors inside the building had not had the same kind of cement structured base and so the floor of the couple's room it had transpired, had been unable to cope with the trauma of their sexual wear and tear and more specifically, the friction from their very passionate love making. ~ Jill Thrussell
Although a new day had arrived, the worries from the previous night's events had not yet fully disappeared and as yet, I still hadn't quite figured out how I would scale that mountain, cover the financial expenses that had been incurred or whether I'd even be able to reach the top of that very high financial peak successfully. ~ Jill Thrussell
A tightrope of financial instability had bridged the gap between total financial collapse and me being buried under the avalanche of financial difficulties that the hotel's quasi-corporate existence had presented to me and I had managed to walk across that tightrope for a whole year without a fall and so I'd been able to at least find some small comfort in that achievement, although my achievement had been far from perfect and had even tottered upon the brink of total failure and had been much closer to an absolute disaster. ~ Jill Thrussell
Somehow, it had felt as if we had all been bundled and thrown together by the circumstances of life and then we'd had to manage those difficult circumstances and tread water in the deep oceans of hardship as best as we had been able to with no arm bands, rubber rings, life guards, life boats or rescue rafts in sight. ~ Jill Thrussell
Quite strangely, although we had all crossed each other's paths from different walks of life, we had all had one thing in common in that we had rarely seen any glimpses of the mountain peaks of glory and our lives had predominantly wallowed in some very deep pits of stress, chasms of despair and valleys of misery and so, we'd had to learn to cope not just with those miserable depths but also with each other. ~ Jill Thrussell
The respective demons that we had usually hidden away inside each of our closets had during that first year, somehow managed to escape and had then run amok along the hotel's hallways, unconquered and unchallenged as we had wrestled with our own consciences and our close daily proximity. ~ Jill Thrussell
Although such demons would have usually been kept and would have remained hidden away from sight by the closet doors of our own ignorance and our own individual failings unfortunately, the hotel and its close living arrangements had brought each one to surface of our shared days and nights and so our usual masks of patient civility, faces of polite pretention and cloaks of tolerance had been fully stripped away by dramatic tensions, chaotic shenanigans and outlandish outbursts. ~ Jill Thrussell
Fortunately however, there had been one slight saving grace that had kept me rooted, focused and anchored throughout that first year to my overall objectives when it came to the actual hotel itself and that one little light in the darkness of my own ignorance, inexperience and failings had actually been Ursula the cleaner. ~ Jill Thrussell
When it came to the changes in customer base at the hotel and the acceptance of local authority clients, in terms of the actual impact of my decision, at the end of that first year things had started to settle down slightly both financially and logistically but it hadn't been an easy bed for me to lie in each night and more like a bed of problems with a bedframe formed from some large jagged rocks and a mattress made from hundreds of very hard problematic pebbles. ~ Jill Thrussell
Despite all the problematic hurdles however, I had found ways to cope and I'd managed to soldier on as I had clambered over some dramatic, chaotic and financial hurdles and had crashed straight into others. ~ Jill Thrussell
Although I hadn't escaped that first year without some heavy debts, emotional scars and psychological wounds due to my ignorance and misfortunate experiences, I had at least tried to accept the harsh realities that I'd faced and had wrapped the bandages formed from experience gently around my head each night. ~ Jill Thrussell
A look of panic stricken horror had immediately crossed Ursula's face, I had observed as I'd glanced into her eyes and then watched in silence as some flickers of fear, tension and shocked recognition had stumbled across every inch of her face and the fearful wince and trembles from her body that had followed, had clearly indicated to me that she had been as mortified as I had been by Bert's sudden appearance inside the hotel as a legitimate client that had needed to be accommodated and actually housed. ~ Jill Thrussell
Quite suddenly and very unexpectedly, this strange, awful, perverse man that had seemed to be a garbage bag filled with perversion, junk and filth had stepped into my personal space and life and I'd had to not only accept him but also accommodate him in the same building where I had lived myself and had lain my head and that shift in dynamics coupled with the forced, uncomfortable, tense tolerance that I'd had to extend towards him, to be perfectly frank had absolutely horrified me. ~ Jill Thrussell
Every single inch of the hotel had suffered from the lack of hygienic respect shown to it by the majority of the guests and from the skeleton of maintenance that I had been able to afford from my strained finances and so, the downward spiral had continued as the second year had continued and I'd tried to soldier on as I had held the bones of the hotel's almost lifeless corpse together and wished for some kind of life support machine to help me resuscitate its heart. ~ Jill Thrussell
Since I had already decided to venture into the local authority's client base and had fully dove into that customer base, I'd had to almost accept anyone and everyone that Mike Walker had decided to throw at the hotel's front door but as I had begun to realize by that point, the departure of one problematic local authority client had usually only meant one thing for me, the arrival of another human headache and there had been very few exceptions to that general downward spiral in client base. ~ Jill Thrussell
In what had seemed like no time at all, Vernon and Jonas had cemented their friendship, tapped into the local drug suppliers, joined an underground fence ring for stolen goods and the duo had even started to dabble in prostitution rackets and so my hotel as a result had rapidly descended into even more of a pigsty and had transcended into an absolute cesspit of total vice. ~ Jill Thrussell
"It's very hard for me Mr. Gethin, cocaine is a very powerful drug." Cathy had admitted. "You can't just walk away from it, or ignore it, it calls to you and it finds you wherever you go. ~ Jill Thrussell
Once you take cocaine, you can never get away from it, never ever, you can't divorce cocaine or get an injunction against it, it's everywhere you go, on every street corner and in every drug dealer's eyes and face and everywhere you go, it waits for you, it waits for you to be weak." ~ Jill Thrussell
In so many ways, I had failed as a hotel owner and Cathy's state had reinforced that failure because my attention had been fully drawn to it that evening and so I'd had to accept that all my hotel had become had been a down trodden cesspit of vice and a haven for crack dealers and pimps, held together by a bit of cracked cement and some worn out bricks. ~ Jill Thrussell
A huge part of me had felt very encouraged by all Cathy's achievements that day because it had shown me that although negative circumstances in life can drag you down into the depths of despair, life can always lift you back up again, if you can just find and accept the lifeboats of life support on offer to you. ~ Jill Thrussell
When I reflect upon Cathy's situation, I now truly accept and realize that the lifeboats of life support on offer to us are not always easy to spot because sometimes, we can be so blinded by our own warped lifestyles, distorted perceptions, stubborn mindsets and negative behavior patterns that we miss those lifeboats entirely, don't recognize them when they appear on the horizon of our life, or even ignore them completely when they do show up. ~ Jill Thrussell
In fact, one thing I've truly learnt from that tricky, dangerous, hard situation is that life can only really offer us a lifeboat of life support, when we are actually ready to board it and when we're totally willing to accept it because at times, we can be our own barrier to a better life. ~ Jill Thrussell
However, since I hadn't really dabbled in any sexual or romantic affairs with any of the guests up until that point, I had slightly feared my potential romantic involvement with Sandra purely due to my position and her own but when she had shown an interest in me, I'd really been quite flattered and had wanted to see if it might be possible to build a romantic partnership from amongst the rubble and ruins of my troubles. ~ Jill Thrussell
A string of ex-husbands had littered Sandra's heart with all kinds of complicated, heavy baggage and so, I had definitely struggled to carry the weight of that unromantic luggage as I'd attempted to embark upon a romantic voyage with her which I had hoped would ultimately lead to the potentially pleasant destination of blissful romance. ~ Jill Thrussell
Despite Sandra's seemingly well mannered approach however, she had demanded a lot from anyone that she had been romantically involved with and I had certainly not been an exception when it came to her attitude towards the men that stepped into her life and so the weight of romantic expectations placed upon me had rapidly grown and grown into a mountain of dissatisfied discontent. ~ Jill Thrussell
My attempts to try and satisfy Sandra's mountain of romantic demands coupled with the unromantic emotional baggage from her previous relationships had placed me under a tremendous amount pressure and so I had almost buckled in my attempts to satisfy that mountain of demands as I'd attempted to explore a romantic partnership with her. ~ Jill Thrussell
Instead of a peaceful, pleasant, enjoyable romantic voyage however, our relationship had been more like a shipwreck of total disaster constantly stranded upon the jagged rocks of Sandra's discontent and my heart had felt as if it had been regularly crushed to pieces by the very harsh, choppy, stormy waves of her total dissatisfaction which had often been unleashed upon my heart via her cold sarcasm, angry outbursts and cruel, heartless sharp words. ~ Jill Thrussell
The perception of wealth and affluence that I had attempted to sustain and live up to however, which had predominantly been formed by Sandra's misguided expectations, had been an absolute struggle for me to maintain because it just hadn't been a true reflection of my real financial reality and so, I'd struggled to meet and live up to those illusive standards. ~ Jill Thrussell
Unfortunately, the sandy house of romance which had been built from the planks of false impressions and misguided expectations between the two of us had swiftly crashed down all around me as the debts had spiraled out of control within a few months along with the stressful worries which had not only accumulated but had also begun to crunch upon my head every single night. ~ Jill Thrussell
Eventually, much to my sheer relief, after six stressful months that had stretched my wallet and heart as far as both had been able to go, Sandra had finally left the hotel and she had quickly latched on to another romantic partner that had been far more affluent than myself. ~ Jill Thrussell
Our sandy house of romance due to Sandra's departure had immediately totally collapsed, washed away by the tides of unromantic unpleasantness until just a few sandy grains of tarnished, stained memories had been all that remained inside my heart but as I had watched her leave my life and heart, I'd accepted my romantic defeat quite graciously. ~ Jill Thrussell
The road of good intentions as I had sadly discovered by the fifteenth year of my hotel ownership, could definitely lead to total disaster and although I had wanted the Happyvale Hotel to be a decent place to live, a successful hotel, a positive environment and profitable, unfortunately the weight of the financial responsibilities had grown and grown until I had ended up in huge amounts of debt. ~ Jill Thrussell
Very frustratingly, the capital sums from the loans that I had already taken had not even touched the surface of the hotel's problems and had only just been enough to sustain the sub-standard provisions on offer but those financial burdens had remained and had remained very tightly tied to my side as I'd continued to struggle with the hotel's operational and financial losses. ~ Jill Thrussell
The relationship between Mike Walker and I had almost been like a rotten tooth that had sat inside a mouth with decayed roots for a prolonged period of time with absolutely no dental treatment and nothing it had seemed had been able to change those rotten roots which had been formed from our mutual, total contempt for each other. ~ Jill Thrussell
Absolutely nothing had been able to restore that rotten tooth and the only possibility that could have perhaps changed that state of rotten, contemptuous decay would perhaps have been if either Mike Walker or myself had wished to be the extraction but since neither of us had it seemed, any intentions of being removed, we had both still remained in our respective positions for two decades and so he had remained a thorn in my side and an ugly crack in the hotel's walls for that entire period of time. ~ Jill Thrussell
Somehow, it had almost felt as if I had fallen or had been pushed into a deep abyss of problems and as if the vultures had started to swoop down into the abyss to pick at my flesh every single day and I'd been unable to escape that abyss because no ladder of support or rope of friendship had been thrown towards me and so, I had sunk further and further down into the quicksand of hardship that the ground below my feet seemed to have been formed from. ~ Jill Thrussell
Anyone and everyone that had crossed my path at that time or that had come in close proximity to me, it had seemed had sensed the financial shipwreck that I had been aboard and had then sought to pick off any fleshy wealth that they could from the bones of my failure and so, I'd definitely struggled to find any real allies in life. ~ Jill Thrussell
Although I had searched and hoped and wished and waited, no rescue boat had however, ever come my way or had appeared upon the horizon of my life and not only had my boat of life fully capsized but it had also remained shipwrecked upon the rocks of destruction in a torn, crushed, delipidated state as stormy wave after stormy wave of problems had lashed against it from all directions possible because unfortunately, no trusted lighthouse keeper had ever shone a light out in that darkness to save my boat or me. ~ Jill Thrussell
However, as I had also been very much aware at the time, June Wellbury's complaints about Mike Walker hadn't been enough to change my situation or the financial predicament that I'd faced because the losses from the hotel had grown and grown each year and the snowball effect had gathered as debts upon debts had accumulated along the way which had added to the general financial shortfalls from the hotel's operations. ~ Jill Thrussell
In some respects however, I had felt as I'd almost made an ally that day because June Wellbury and I had found some common ground and that common ground which had united us both to some extent had been the hard solid cement of Mike Walker's sharp manner, the rockiness of his harsh rigid approach and the stony cruelness of his sarcastic tongue which had at times, been razor sharp and almost like a verbal whip that had cut into your ears and mind. ~ Jill Thrussell
Although I had been sent some truly awful, extremely difficult, very antisocial clients by Mike Walker over the years, it had been people like Queenie that had motivated and encouraged me because it had been people like Queenie that had made my hotel worth the while and that night had reminded me of that one sweetener when it had come to the issue of my increasingly difficult circumstances in life as I'd appreciated Queenie's kindness and had silently applauded her attitude of concern towards Alfie. ~ Jill Thrussell
The issue at that point had not been whether I could keep the hotel anymore but rather one of when it would be sold and if I would be able to walk away with any money at all, once all the debts had been settled because failure had crept up on me for decades and had silently wound its tentacles all around the hotel and so at that point, it had been ready to squeeze every last hope and breathe out of every wall of the hotel and out of me and to take everything that I had. ~ Jill Thrussell
Inside the hotel as the building had become emptier and emptier, it had almost become like a morgue as the Happyvale Hotel had waited to be buried and finally laid to rest because all that had seemed to line the walls and that had echoed through the silent halls, landings and rooms had been the reminders of my failures and my every breath of defeat because defeat had been the only companion that had actually remained. ~ Jill Thrussell
On so many occasions Ursula had definitely provided me with an essential crutch of support and a strong shoulder to lean upon when I had struggled to walk through life and when I'd been swamped by the swarm of troubles that had infested and invaded every possible inch of the hotel's interior and exterior and so as I had released Ursula from her employment duties, I'd felt saddened and as if somehow, I had failed not just myself but also Ursula too. ~ Jill Thrussell
When it came to my attitude towards life, I had never been a great risk taker that had liked to live on the edge and I'd never had any great lightning bolts of ingenuity and so, the hotel really had been the only real chance for me to achieve something in life but as I now realize, fate writes our future and we either step up to succeed or stumble and tumble down the slippery slope of failure as we participate in life. ~ Jill Thrussell
The bureaucratic processes involved with the hotel's ownership had baffled and confused me and I had definitely not totally understood the full implications of the responsibility that I'd taken on and although I had struggled for so many years, finally my ignorance, my shortfalls of experience, my lack of wisdom, a lack of reliable trustworthy support and my misplaced trust had been my own downfall as the hotel had slipped from my hands and I'd been left with nothing but just painful memories of my failure and my empty heartbroken regrets. ~ Jill Thrussell
My ownership of the Happyvale Hotel had been nothing more in the end than a total wreckage with nothing but mangled carnage to leave behind as I had walked away totally destitute, absolutely penniless and with just the debris of my broken heart which had been full of heartbroken regrets and heartbeats of painful failure. ~ Jill Thrussell
Only one small comfort and consolation had really remained for me and I hold onto that even now because the fact that I had run the marathon of life with the hotel in my hands and that I'd kept the hotel's doors open for so very long, I had definitely felt had been some kind of achievement for a boy that had never been expected to achieve anything in life and for a boy that had never been expected to amount to anything much at all. ~ Jill Thrussell